Sunday, 20 September 2015

Metal Gear Solid V: TPP Angry Review

Why is his face so punchable?
Before you do anything, you need to know that Angry Joe hasn't played any other Metal Gear game outside of Ground Zeroes, Revengeance and The Phantom Pain. He is a casual gamer who panders to what the casual video game viewer wants to see on Youtube, he is a poser and not a real gamer because his first console was an Xbox. Nuff said.

I can't believe Angry Joe, people on the internet think he makes great reviews and gives games proper scores, numerous of his reviews (namely Bioshock Infinite, Witcher 3) are obviously either him being too much of a casual or being payed to give games high scores. This is apparent all the way through this video, because he sells the shit out of this game like it was the second coming of christ. He practically sucks Konami's and Kojima's dicks throughout the entire video so hard that you can faintly hear it in the background, or that could have been that sasquatch porn I had on in the background.

What the fuck am I looking at?
Joe says the game has "Not many flaws", this proves that this game was not made for MGS players, but brand new players like Joe. The fact that Joe loves reflex mode shows how much of a casual he is. A LOT of Metal Gear fans are terribly disappointing in its story and streamlined gameplay. Though the gameplay is really good, the game as a Metal Gear game failed, and this is apparent to anyone who's actually played the other games.

The video is also filled with stupid sketches that only make the video even more boring, not to mention that some of them are gay beyond belief. Joe also says that he won't get into the Quiet thing but then does, he is obviously pandering to feminists on tumblr, Angry Joe sounds like Anita Sarkeesian.

Is Angry Joe gay? Serious question. 
Case in point, it's a boring review filled with misinformation on Joe's part. Him giving it a glowing 9/10 is proof that he's just as bad as IGN and Gamespot, if not worse for thinking he's better than them. And why the hell is Joe so bad at making reviews, most of the video is just background noise without any substance, it's more of a vlog than a review. Did you also notice how it took Joe almost three weeks to make a review, now that's just laughable. Anyway, what did you guys think about the review?

And if you want to know what's wrong with the game, then check out the bit after the comments.


A good opinion.

Like most games then?

It's because he's pandering to casuals. 


Damn right, Joe can't review properly.

And he sucks it hard!

Most of his video's are boring. 

Everything wrong with MGSV

>Shyamamalan-tier twist just for the sake of having a twist. It actually changes nothing,
neither in the series as a whole, nor in this particular game. Venom Snake is literally
brainwashed to think that he is Big Boss - so he acts pretty much the same as Big Boss.
So why have him as a character in the first place? Also he never fucking talks. He doesn't
say a single word during the entire ride with Skull Face.

>Disgraceful 2nd chapter and completely lackluster ending. It's beyond obvious that they
ran out of ideas/money/time and the result is just sad. Even worse when a slightly better
ending was found on disc but of course it got cut too. Without it, Eli acquiring a
Metal Gear seems like a gigantic plothole.

>Recycled content as Main (!) missions. Nonsense like this belongs in NG+, Side-OPs or
a difficulty menu - it's shameful to offer it as main content of the game and makes it
all the more obvious how much actual content is missing.

>Side-OPs are repetitive to no end. The sheer number of them is misleading, when there
actually are only about 15 different missions, just recycled ad nauseam.

>The pacing is all over the place. Chapter 1 takes ages to reach any meaningful plotpoint,
yet chapter 2 flies by in a breeze. Many 'main' missions are at best loosely connected to
overall plot.

>Only 2 real boss fights. Seriously?

>Skull Face reduced to simple-minded cartoon villain, complete with dumb Zorro mask and all.

>Quiet is the 2nd most pointless character, right after Venom Snake. She adds absolutely
nothing to the story. And the only real benefit she added to the game at all, having her as
an optional buddy, is taken away from the player for no reason whatsoever.

>Everything about FOBs. The fact that they literally lied when they said you could freely
construct and manage them in offline mode. The fact that they can be invaded at any time, so
you might find yourself missing a good chunk of your team and resources, for daring not to play
the game for a few days. And then there are micro-transactions which, of course, influence both
the single- and the multiplayer: because more resources and larger squads are a direct benefit, end
of discussion.

>Upgrades take game-time to finish. Yep, that's right. Your FOB can freely be raided and plundered
when you're offline but your development queue won't move at all. Some upgrades literally
take several hours to complete, it sure would be nice to have them finish over night.

And by far the worst offender:
>Completely misleading marketing campaign that is single-handedly responsible for a huge portion of
the disappointment now felt by many players. This game is not about Big Boss going nuclear. This game
does not touch any taboos. This game does not even have the same level of brutality as Ground Zeroes.
Quiet is pointless and just there because Kojima fucked Stephanie. Keifer is pointless because Venom
barely talks. Nothing new or concluding is gained from the story at all, it's almost filler-tier content.

>Less content than PW
>Less polishing than GZ

Extreme mode levels don't even have more guards and thus have no variation from how you played them before. Older MGS games offered more variety upon different difficulties than this game which copy pastes its levels into the story as Extreme

cut content, no level editor's, and lies about custom mother base.


  1. You said it took Joe 3 weeks to make a review. I think you confused weeks with months. Does Joe even focus on reviews anymore? Ya know, THE ONE THING PEOPLE LIKED AND APPRECIATED ABOUT HIM???? Instead he has become yet another lets player who isn't even funny. If your gonna do lets plays Joe, you gotta have charisma. Lame review for someone who had so much potential. Its a tragedy. Still don't know why some people praise this guy! Lazy is the one word to describe this guy.

  2. he couldnt give it anything but 9/10. he fucked up and set the bar with his ridiculous 10/10 on witcher 3.

    i have not started playing this yet, but i think ill enjoy it. i played most of the other mgs games and enjoyed them, wouldnt call myself a hardcore mgs fan tho. this does not have to be same as those, different might be ok. although i must say it would be dissapointing if it does not go deep story wise.

  3. All I'm saying is that the Snake family are so oblivious and incompetent whatsoever.

    The End.

  4. If mgs was any other name and producer the game would never get such high ratings. Really not surprised he rated it high. Game has issues that will probably never get fixed because Konami said fuck everyone.