Saturday, 30 January 2016

AngryJoe Plays Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak!

Right off the bat Joe can't even pronounce Kharak right, what a moron. Is he even trying anymore? He's also apparently excited about this new game even though the Homeworld "franchise" if you can even call it that has been long dead , I mean who the hell wants a ground control rip off as a Homeworld game or even wanted more backstory? I mean stuff like this just screams cash grab, and that's exactly what it is. Not to mention that if you wanted to show your game off you don't give it to Angry Joe because he can't even play any game right, he's a terrible let's player and that's a fact.

Also this is a "promo" which more or less means that Joe took it up the ass from the devs so he could shill whatever game comes his way, it's stuff like this that put his credibility in the drain. Heck I bet that Joe hasn't even played or finished the original Homeworld games, what a poser. Whatever don't even watch this cesspool of a video, just down vote and leave an angry comment. Oh and check out the comments section as everyone is having a good old time ripping Joe a new one for being goddamn lazy. I hope someone sends flesh eating worms to Joe's house so he can go and start shout CRAWLING IN MY SKIN!

Dude reddit references and memes xd lol wut

Now gfto off this site, I've got a night shift tonight and I'm not looking forward to it, then I've got a christening the following morning. Being me is suffering but who cares? Catch you on the flip side!

Monday, 25 January 2016

Top 10 WORST Games of 2015!

Well, here's the list.

1. Raven's Cry (28:41) 
2. Godzilla (23:21)
3. Alone in the Dark: Illumination (18:44)
4. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (16:03)
5. Motorcycle Club (13:42)
6. Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma: Volume 1 (11:46) 
7. Sid Meier's Starships (10:17)
8. The Order: 1886 (6:45)
9. Evolve (3:44) 
10. Battlefield: Hardline (0:34) 

Right off the bat the list is pretty good, only a few stuff which I will nitpick. The first major problem is that there are no Nintendo games, Joe swore them off since he couldn't make money off their YouTube videos. Now Devil's Third is one of the worst games Nintendo has ever published, and yet it doesn't make it on this list, top kek. He also lists Raven's Cry as number one, yet his video coverage doesn't even show half of the shit that was wrong with that game. I mean the game was ass but Jim Sterling actually covered how fucked it was way better. Joe needs to rely less on stream coverage and get back to writing out more rants that actually articulate things that need to be bitched about in depth.

Look at my face, I'm so angry.
Now he's got Battlefield Hardline at number 10, yeah he's chatting shit about games he sucks at. If you take this into consideration it's not a worst games list, it's a games he's worst at list. Which is clearly what he's going for. Your also noticing that Battlefront isn't on the list, I bet Joe is saving that for the disappointments list. And again Joe uses video footage from other people because he's so damn lazy, and tons of video is also ripped straight his twitch because he's so god damn lazy again. I bet he didn't even fully play half of the games on this list and that Delrith told him what to put on the list. 

Now fuck off, I'm away to listen to Aqua's Megalomania again. What are you still doing here, gtfo maggot!

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Mortal Kombat X PC Support Angry Rant!

Oh golly, an angry rant pah! Get out the banjo's and woodpeckers, Captain autismo is in da house!

Ah, how did that get there? Anyway moving on, Angry Joe did a rant video! OMG! SUCKER FOR A SUPERSTAR! Anyway why the hell is Joe acting like he's surprised? This is Warner Brothers, they have no respect for PC gamers. But does that mean Joe is wrong, obviously no. He's entirely right about the whole matter. What, were you expecting me to shitpost and hate the guy for no reason? Only when I'm drunk when dancing on the whirlpool.

AngryJoe Suicide Squad #2 Reaction!

Autism overload again, I mean this is what Angry Joe has become. Movie video's and paid promotions, leave it to a real human bean to ruin his own career and reputation. And in true modern Joe fashion he is not even angry at all, All he did was say he disliked Robocop and the Joker's gangsta teeth.That's basically it, oh and he seems to be enjoying it as usual because he's easily impressed. And why is he complaining about the teeth when didn't Batman break them or something like that? But I guess he's the type of fan who dislikes anything new, oh and he didn't know that one of the guys was Clint Eastwoods son, Scott Eastwood.

Down low: Somehow when he talk about marvel or disney movies somehow his ability to see flaws disappears, but when talking about DC movies , suddenly the ability to nitpick comes back.

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

AngryJoe Plays Hard West!

More like Angry Joe is a fucking soulless sellout, amirite? Shilling Sanchez is at it again, how many paid promotions is he going to do this year I wonder? And let's take into account that this is an INDIE GAME, I'm guessing Joe is a shit magnet nowadays for companies.

And looks like the Angry Army is out in force in the comments section, they are literally crying that other people are complaining about Joe not working on the top 10 video's, which he should be. I mean how can he be so busy but sticks out crap content like this, what a freaking liar, he always uses the sympathy card like a bitch. Whatever, just leave an angry comment and down vote the video, crap content shouldn't be tolerated.

AngryJoe Cowboy Action Shooting! [Hard West]

A paid promotion, sigh. And what the hell is wrong with the sound quality, couldn't Joe afford a better mic with all that Jew gold he gets from donations. And does Joe ever wash that Superman T-shirt? I swear he probably wears it to bed too. Anyway it's just a long and boring video of Joe shooting at the gun range, the only downside is that someone didn't shoot Angry Joe for being an illegal immigrant while he was there. Joe's stance and tone during the video is also both unprofessional and childish, I mean who the heck acts like an idiot out in the open? Oh wait I've answered my own question.

Verdict: Skip it, it's long, boring and a paid promotion. Sellout scumbag.

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

AngryJoe's The Division Gameplay & Impressions

Hey look it's that game that rips of Twelve Monkeys that was supposed to come out years ago, looks like shilling sanchez is at it again. It just looks like another "tactical bullet-spunge action" game that developers love to shove down people's throats, and not to mention that all the cool stuff that could have been in the game has been carved out, leaving us with a shell of it's former being. Don't you just love video games nowadays. And let's get onto the actual video, you ready brah?

The fucking Mexican sellout is already ass licking the developers and kissing their butts. ''It's feel kind of fresh'', REALLY? A fucking game that is similar to destiny? Get the fuck outta here you terrible person. Not to mention that Joe also SUCKS at this game just like all games, I mean he calls himself a gaymer and can't even play a babies game made by Ubisoft. And you are probably asking yourself "where is all the rage"? Well there ain't any because AngryJoe should change his name to SatisfiedJoe. Sometime even HypedJoe because he sure as hell ain't "askign the hard questions" like he wants you to believe. And isn't he going to make a video rant talking about how they are taking parts of the game to sell them as DLC ??

Whatever, the dude's a hack and everyone knows it. LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!

Saturday, 16 January 2016

Top 10 BEST Games of 2015!

Man, get a load of this land whale. He says that "he's back bitches", yeah right and I'm the King of France. By "he's back" I assume that he's doing more dick licking than usual at press events, paid promotions and not making reviews. Sounds about right.Now let's look at the list below, even before watching the video I knew he'd give the Witcher 3 the number one spot.

10 - Rise of the Tomb Raider  
More like Rise of the Shit Raider. Joe also mispronounces Lara as LAURA like the idiot he is, I mean they even say the name right in the game so how can he be so stupid? 

09 - Party Hard  

Party Hard, obligatory indie shit?

08 - Pillars of Eternity  

Pillars of Eternity, AHAHAHAHAHAHA no.

07 - Broforce  

More indie shit, seriously not GOTY material.

06 - Rocket League   

Probably got paid to put more indie shit on his list. 

05 - Bloodborne  

And he said he didn't have time to properly finish Bloodborne so how can he say it's a best game without even fully sampling all it has to offer? What gall he must have for putting Bloodborne at number 5 even when he never got past Central Yharnham! What the fuck is he thinking! You fags do realise that this guy absolutely does not play Bloodborne right? he's just put it on his list to stop people from sperging out about it not being there and to also make him look like more of a "hardcore gamer" to his casual af fanbase.

04 - Mortal Kombat X 
Ahahahaha, Mortal Kombat is better than Bloodborne? Jesus christ.
MKX still has horrid netcode on consoles, and the PC port is complete garbage. And he's hyped for kombat pack 2, my sides are in orbit right about now.

03 - Fallout 4   
But as for #2 Angry Joe was never a true Fallout fan so he had no rpg expectations about this game whatsoever. The game feels barren and boring in comparison to all the previous games and Joe does not even mention this. Fallout 4 is just a buggy mess all around with some good ideas which are underdeveloped.

02 -    Metal Gear Solid V   
MGSV is plagued with stuff that AJ completely hates, stuff that has made him give ultra low scores to other games.
Stuff like: corporate greediness, game being literally incomplete, extremely repetitive gameplay, absolutely dead open world and almost no plot or character development.
I've been following AJ since he started, these are stuff he has ALWAYS hated and he has been very vocal about it, but suddenly with MGSV, which is part of a saga he has admittedly never played before (So nostalgia doesnt plays a factor here), he's ok with all this, and he gives the game a 9. What a load of crock shit and a fucking shill. 

01 - The Witcher 3   
Stinky hot shit. Even if it may have some good points it still have a lot of bad ones.

Giving these games "top whatever" placements in a popular youtuber's opinion rewards these companies for bad behavior, but then again Joe was paid by these companies. 
  • No Nintendo games
  • NO SOMA, which is one of the purest scifi horrors ever made and simply brilliant. 
Shilling Sanchez is full of shit as usual, and Joe doesn't play any Nintendo games since Nintendo claimed every single Nintendo video on his channel and Joe bitched and moaned about it because he couldn't make money. This list is proof enough that he's taking bribes, nothing else can explain why he'd put MGSV on 2nd place, or hell even why he gave the game a 9. Its fucking hilarious what a dudebro he is. You can argue about Fallout 4 being on the list and he ignoring Undertale completely, but when you put shit like Rise of the Tomb Raider on the list, you barely fucking played games this year.

All in all, a very boring list from a very boring person. Unlike me because I have a wacky personality and multiple personality disorder. It's fun being crazy. Now come on and sing together with me! 

So if we all come together, we know what to do
We all come together, just to sing we love you
And if we all come together, we know what to do
We all come together just for you! (SING WITH ME!)

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

AngryJoe's Plane Scare Vlog & Update!

Really, this guy will make a post about bloody anything as long as it will get views. What's next, butt fucking with Angry Joe and Delrith?

Anyway, there's a few questions that I think need answered:

1. Why does he wear the mask?
2. If I take the mask off, will he die?
3. Is Joe a big guy?
4. Did the fire rise?
5. Does anyone wanna go for a ride?

Wanna go for a ride? (Rene Dif eat your heart out)
With that out of the way the video is 90 percent Joe talking about the stupid airplane scare as if it actually matters in the grand scale of things, which is doesn't. And as usual he acts like video's will be out soon because it's so hard making them when he does streams on Twitch to beg and receive money like a glory hole. Actually that's the perfect analogy to Joe and his business practices. How fucking desperate can one guy be?

Anyway, Captain Jack signing off!

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Angry Joe Exposed!

You heard it here first busters, Angry Joe has been blown open like a peruvian flute band in Germany getting raped by Migrants. Oh yeah, I went here bitches! Ain't no thang but a chicken wing!

Sent to me by an unidentified source (stop looking at me) on the interwebs, it shows that Joe was trying to gain contact with creative assembly. I'm guessing the developer thought it would be funny to shame Joe on the net by sending me this, I mean it's not like I hacked into Joe's computer and have been recording EVERYTHING that's been happening on his desktop, don't be silly. Though in all seriousness let's analyze this startling event.

1. He begs for review codes
2. He wants to do video's on Rome Total War 2
3. He's cheeky and snarky in his email
4. He brags about how much effort goes into a video
5. Tells them upfront that he can only make video's by gaining ad revenue

Well, what do all you guys think about this revelation?


Now that I've had my fun and games I'll tell you that this was actually written by Joe himself years ago, how do you like them apples?

Proof that Joe made that:

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Angry Joe's Board Game Project

First question: How the hell did Joe get the IP for Dragon Ball, Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter?

Second question: Does Joe actually think people give a shit?

Third question: If this another kickstarter scam? (If you didn't know he's going to kickstarter it.)

Now that's enough of the fucking questions, amirite? I mean seriously who the hell cares about a stupid board game where three different IP's fight each other? Put your hand down tumblr and! That goes for any Angry Army fanboies too! And let's not forget that Joe is counting on YOU (yes that means all you ugly fuckers out there too) and the Angry Army to "SUPPORT" him in this endeavour that nobody cares about. Which means that he's expecting earth currency probably ameritard dollars to fund him, bitcoin and Keiser Report btfo.

The whole thing sounds like a sham, and I think people were expecting an actual video game since that's what Joe is SUPPOSED to be all about. But whatever video games are for weebs and morons anyway, board games is where the shit is at nowadays with zzzzzzzzz...... and zzzzzzz....... and lots of MONEY MONEY MONEY. MOTHER FUCKING MONEY DEPENDENCE AND TOO MUCH OF HEAVEN BRINGS YOU UNDERGROUND.

Wrong video but who cares anyway, I'm feeling lucky in my life right now.

Captain Autismo singing out. 

Friday, 1 January 2016

Star Wars 7 Spoilers & Theories Discussion!

An hour long autism fueled video, I ain't watching this shit and neither should you unless you're a moron......or autistic.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Angry Movie Review

I refuse to believe that anyone actually like this piece of garbage. I watched the movie today in a cinema that I didn't even plan on going to, I had a 30 pound voucher and it costed me 28 pound for two fucking people. That's 8.80 a ticket, (usually it's 5 pound at my preferred cinema) and about 10 pound for two medium drinks and a medium popcorn which is slighter dearer than my usual cinema. I don't really care I spent that much since it wasn't any of my actual money but I'm pissed that it costed 28 pound to see a shitty movie. I could rant more but I'll end it here, the Odeon sucks and the Movie House rocks. Nuff said.

Now onto Joe's "Angry Review", it's autism central at Joe's house as usual because apparently he's just like every other reviewer who's been paid to say that this movie is great and that you should see it to make Disney more money. Remember that Disney bought the company that Joe is under on YouTube, so he's probably being paid as usual to spout all kinds of nonsense. I mean reviewers are meant to have a critical opinion and not sell your soul to the white slavers over at Disney to score some brownie points. But whatever, I know most of you fucks liked the movie to earn some nerd cred or some other crap. Later.

Also remember that Joe lost the original footage because he's a fucking idiot who can't even do a vlog right, I mean how stupid can one Mexican be?